Friday 3 June 2011

HUSBAND WIFE SMS

Funny confession of Husband
Wife : Where did you get these lipstick spots?

Husband : I am amazed myself where how I got these spots ?
I was not wearing shirt at that time : )
Husband becoming a Sadhu - funny jokes about husband and wife
Wife to Husband : I don't have any child, I have decided to give all my wealth to some Sadhu..
After hearing this, husband stood up...
Wife : What happened to you, where are you going?

Husband : To become a Sadhu !
Expiry date
wife:honey,what r u looking 4?
husband: nothing

wife:why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour?
husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date
Wife : Book or Calender
Wife to Husband : I am the book of your life...
Husband : This is what I regret...

If you were a calender then could have changed one every year !
Dumbo Wife buying Sarees
Wife Saw Sign Board:
Nylon Saree
Rs.8/-
Cotton Saree
Rs.5/-
Banarsi Saree
Rs.10/-

Wife: Give me Rs.500 I�ll buy 50 Sarees.

Husband: You dumbo.. its a laundry shop !!
Wife as problem solver
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?"
Meaning of Wife
Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means...
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

WIFE says: No darling, it means :-
With Idiot For Ever
Everyday New Wife
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands allday.

Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.
Matter of patience
Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it's only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.
SPARE TYRE
HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle
If 1 punctures, the vehicle can't move further
M0ral: always Keep a SPARE TYRE....
How Many Boyfriends
Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage??
Wife remains silent.....

Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De....
Koun thi woh
Husband aur Wife Hotel
me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha, "Koun Thi Wo?"
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi
Movie tickets
Husband: Today is sunday &
I have to enjoy it.

So i bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why three?

Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents.
Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hain
Wife: If I die what will u do?
Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!

Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai
I will also die
Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.

Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:-because main itni khushi
bardasht nahin ker sakta:D
How Women calls their husbands
How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1.Janu
Yr 2.O G.
Yr 3.Sunte ho?
Yr 4.O bunty k pappa
Yr 5.Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6.Tum aate ho k main aaon?
Intelligent Husband - Give me a coin
Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second

Bakri or Bhains
Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked: "Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?"
Wife: "Dikhta nahin, bakri hay!"
Husband: "Bakri se hi poch raha hu"
Nind mein gaali
Wife: kal rat tum mujhey neend main galian kiyon de rahey thay?

Husband: tumhain galat fehmi hoi hai..

Wife: kaisi galat fehmi???

Husband: yehi k main neend main tha..
Yakinan Andha
A beggar- 'Oh sundari! Andha hoon.
Sawa paanch rupya de de..'

Husband said 2 his wife- "De de,
tujhe sundari bola hai to yaqinan andha hi hai..." :p
Who is paying the bill
Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!
Newly wed wife
Husband to a newly wed wife!
I could go to the end of the world for you
Wife: Thanks, but promise me
you will stay there for the rest of your life.
Who is guilty
Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night
and suddenly shouts: "Up! Quick! My husband is back!"

Man gets up, jumps out of the window,
hurts himself, and then realizes: "Damn, I am the husband!"
Husband or Gadha
Difference between Husband & gadha.
Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai,
but
Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane!!
Is Saal Roza Rakho Gey
Wife: Is Saal Roza Rakhoge?
Husband: Nahi

Wife: Aur Taravi Parhoge?
Husband: Mushkil Hai

Wife: Aur Aftaari Karoge?
Husband: Han! Ab itna Bhi Kafir Nahi Ha
Khwabo me akeli ladki
Husbnd: Kal mere khawab me 1 larki ayi thi
Wah!kia larki thi

Wife:Akeli aye hogi?

Husbnd:Wao tumhe kese pata?

Wife:Uska husband mere khawab me aya tha...!
Pehle ka 99
Wife: Meray iraday baray naik hain,

Aap 100 main say aik hain!

Husband: dimagh k hum b DON hain,

pehle ye bata baqi k 99 koN ha.
Cricket match, Wife and husband
Wife TV par match dekh rahi thi,

husband smart banke aya or bolay,
"DARLING MAIN KAISA LAG RAHA HON?"

tabhi wife zor se chillayi

"CHAKKAAAA!!!"
Kon kitna pyar karta hain - husband of wife
Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:

"Aadmi ushi ko marta hai jis se Pyar kerta hai."

Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maray aur Boli

"Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyar nahi kerti"

No comments:

Post a Comment